Thankful

I've been feeling a little strange lately so I decided I should have a physical. The last one I had was when I was only a few weeks pregnant, so I was due one. I had also been having these weird sensations on my scalp, kinda like it was "falling asleep". It began in one spot and then started to spread, kinda like it had fingers. It went to my forehead, ear, across to the other side of my head, etc. I feared I had a brain tumor but kept telling myself it was probably just stress and nothing to worry about. This had been happening for about a month but I didn't tell anyone because I thought I was overreacting. I finally told Brandon the night before my physical. Then when my mom came over to watch the babies I let her know too. I assumed I would go to the doctor, he would reassure me, and I would be on my way. However, after examining me he told me I needed a head CT to rule out a tumor or malformation of vessels. I was alone and TERRIFIED to say the least. Not only did my doctor not assure me that I had nothing to worry about, he told me I needed this scary test done. I didn't want to make my mom or Brandon worried so I was planning to have it done without telling anyone. But I knew mom would wonder why I was gone so long and was bound to call anyway. And I knew if I told her I needed to tell Brandon. I held myself together while talking to mom, but not to Brandon. When I called he said he was busy and would have to call me back. I said, "No, wait, this is important!" and then I broke down. So of course he came and stayed with me during the test.

Thankfully I got the CT done immediately. I just had to walk downstairs, get another tube of blood drawn, get an IV (for the contrast) and then have the test done. I had just had blood drawn in the doctor's office for my physical (which they had to stick me twice for) but they needed STAT kidney function blood results, hence the next blood draw, because I was having a CT with and without contrast (the contrast helps them see the vessels better) and it can be hard on your kidneys. So four needle sticks in two arms in one day. YIKES! I LOVE giving shots and drawing blood, but do NOT like it being done to me! Hypocritical I guess you could say but do you really want a nurse who hates what she does? I think not.

I was very fortunate to have the test done that same day (unheard of) and not only that, but an hour after I was finished, my doctor called me with the results. That is REALLY unheard of!  It was the longest hour of my life though. All I could think about was "what will happen to my babies if something happens to me?" Plus, the guy that did my CT told me he wouldn't let me leave if there was any sort of blockage, etc. He didn't say he wouldn't let me leave if there was a tumor. This guy was the only person I ever saw. He started my IV, gave me the contrast, and performed the CT. When he was finished taking pictures he got up and went into the hall to talk to someone. I assumed he was asking someone else if it was OK to send me home after what he saw. And then, to make matters worse, as he walked me back to the waiting room he said, "Hope everything goes well with you." WHAT?!?! I didn't know anything was wrong - please inform me of what is going on! Thankfully, I didn't have to wait long. My doctor called the radiologist himself to get my results before he left the office that day and then called me. I hope he knows how much that meant to me because it saved me lots of worrying and negative thinking. My CT was normal besides the fact that my sinuses were enlarged, meaning I have a massive sinus infection. So I am back on antibiotics. But that I can handle. And I am so thankful that my fears were put to rest. The strange sensations on my head were determined to be caused by stress. I guess my babies being sick for a month may have attributed to that, although I am still having them and the babies are well, so maybe it's just the past year kinda catching up with me.

After this scare I have decided to start eating better, exercising when it gets warmer outside, and most importantly spending more time reading my Bible. I've neglected all of these things since the babies have been born. I've just been so focused on them that I haven't taken the time to take care of myself. But I realize now that I need to take care of ME so that I can take care of THEM. They need a healthy mommy to keep up with them, as they are now both walking and Hutch is running. I want to be there right with them every step of the way and don't want to miss a thing. And more importantly, I don't want them to feel alone. This is my wake up call and I am definitely now awake. While lying on a table with my head in a huge machine, staring at the ugly wallpaper across the top of the wall with warm medicine literally running through my head, I realized that I am in not in control of my life, but I do have choices. And I'm gonna try to make the right ones.

Now onto what you really care about....the babies!!!! I'll catch up on what we've been doing since the last post.

We visited with my grandmother, Mamur, today. She has a little shopping cart and wanted to push the babies around in it. She put Hutch in first and he screamed, so she put Anniston in and started pushing her through the house. Well, then he decided he did want in after all. So they both got in. And then of course he wanted a turn by himself.

They let me rock them for a few minutes together tonight. They usually want to be with me alone, without each other, but I was lucky enough to cuddle with both at the same time tonight. It is such a rare thing lately that I had Brandon take a picture.

We hope you all had a Happy Valentine's Day!

I carried her into the kitchen from her bedroom in this.....she thought it was hilarious!

She takes her quilt that Gigi made her everywhere!

Sittiing on a stool at Mamur's with his handsome dinosaur sweater on

Chillin' with Pops!

Don't bother him, he's on his cell.

He likes to get this box out of the pantry and push it all over the house. Don't ask me why. Maybe because it is Gigi's favorite cereal?

We love our Daddy!