My Sunshines

It's been 4 weeks since my surgery and I wanted to give an update. It really was an easy surgery. It was outpatient and I really never felt any pain. I took my pain pills around the clock to be sure of it. It wasn't like I was the most comfortable I have ever been but definitely no intense pain. I never went through any major grieving of my fertility this time, most likely because I had already done that 5 years ago. I signed the "sterility" papers for the 2nd time in my life. Not sure the first ones really counted..... When I went for my two week follow up appointment with my doctor, she said, "If you get pregnant again, I'm writing a case study on you!" I have a picture to prove that the connection between my ovaries and uterus is obliterated. I am going to attach the picture but in an effort to hide it from those who wish not to see, you will have to scroll down for it. It's not gross to me, but I am a nurse and these things interest me. It...

WHAT? It seems that things tragic either happen in slow motion or too quickly and vaguely to even realize what is going on. I'm not sure which is better but the latter happened to me recently. June 5th to be exact. I won't go into details (for your benefit, not that I mind), but after a series of events, tests, and a doctor's visit, it was determined that I had suffered a miscarriage. I was 6 weeks along. Did I mention I had surgery to block my tubes over 5 years ago? Yeah. And I had nothing to worry about for over 5 years. But things can change, and they did. The medical term is "failed tubal obstruction". Ya don't say? What I had suspected was confirmed by my doctor. I wasn't even sure how to feel because my mind was so far from this situation ever happening again, the situation meaning pregnancy. Last time I became pregnant I was planning it, taking vitamins, preparing my body to house another body (or 2) for the next 9 months, but this time, I wasn...

After my last blog post, I had numerous people text, call, email, and mention to me in person that the post had helped them with their personal experiences with depression and anxiety. It even encouraged a few people to seek treatment for issues that they had, to that point, been too ashamed or too hesitant to seek help for. My goal in writing the post was to help others cope with a subject that most people do not wish to speak about. I told myself that if I helped even ONE person, it was worth it and that I would continue to write on other subjects that not many people wish to speak of but that many people can benefit from or may be dealing with.  I strive to be a "real" person and do not have any intention to present myself as someone I am not, which is why I am passionate about writing and getting my opinion out there to the world. If more people would be real, stop trying to impress others, and speak openly about their struggles, we could all relate to each other and e...