A Mother's Love

I've always felt a sense of deep saddness when I hear of a child losing his or her life. Whether it is someone I know, a patient I have cared for, or a stranger on TV, it has always made me stop and reflect on the uncertainty of life and how quickly it can be taken away. But the level of this saddness has deepened since I have become a mother. I was heartbroken to hear of the tragedy of the Olympian who lost his life today and disgusted that the news showed his accident and the subsequent attempts to revive him on television. How terrible for this family to not only lose their son, but even worse that it was displayed repeatedly on TV for the whole world to see. I just cannot stop thinking about his mother.
My empathy for mothers truly began when Anniston was only a few weeks old. She cried, or to be more accurate, screamed, for hours at a time for almost 2 solid months. She was suffering from severe cases of reflux, colic, and milk protein intolerance. I put every ounce of myself into caring for her (and Hutch, as did both Brandon and my mom) during those first few hard months, and I still do. They are my life, my everything. I can't imagine my life without them, for they now define me. As I was bathing them tonight I couldn't help but think of the mother of the Olympian. Twenty years ago she was bathing her son and getting him ready for bed, just as I was tonight, and looking forward to the rest of his life. And today she lost him at such a young age. The baby she carried in her womb for 9 months, stayed awake with all night for the first few months, cleaned up after, took care of when he was sick, and sacrificed her self for is no longer living. I just can't imagine her pain and the sense of loss she is feeling because not only did her son die, but part of herself did too.

It's true that you don't truly understand what your mother has done for you until you experience motherhood yourself. I've heard my mom tell stories about her hard pregnancies and my unrelenting 8 month long episode of colic but until I experienced it myself just kinda thought, "that doesn't sound fun, but I bet it wasn't THAT bad." Well now I know it WAS THAT BAD because I've done it myself. Not in exactly the same ways, but enough to understand that my mom REALLY loved me and still does. Even when she gave me an "early" curfew or wouldn't let me meet JTT at the Bellevue mall because it was on a church night (yes, I'm still a little bummed about that). I know she did it all out of love because you don't just put your whole self into taking care of your children when they are babies, you do it their whole lives, just in different ways. And that's what makes you a good mother. Thanks, Mom, for all you've done and continue to do for me and my babies. If I'm half the mother you are I'll consider myself a great success.