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Oh Baby

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WHAT? It seems that things tragic either happen in slow motion or too quickly and vaguely to even realize what is going on. I'm not sure which is better but the latter happened to me recently. June 5th to be exact. I won't go into details (for your benefit, not that I mind), but after a series of events, tests, and a doctor's visit, it was determined that I had suffered a miscarriage. I was 6 weeks along. Did I mention I had surgery to block my tubes over 5 years ago? Yeah. And I had nothing to worry about for over 5 years. But things can change, and they did. The medical term is "failed tubal obstruction". Ya don't say? What I had suspected was confirmed by my doctor. I wasn't even sure how to feel because my mind was so far from this situation ever happening again, the situation meaning pregnancy. Last time I became pregnant I was planning it, taking vitamins, preparing my body to house another body (or 2) for the next 9 months, but this time, I wasn...
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Security

I've decided to make my blog private for security reasons. As of now ANYONE in the world can view it and that scares me since I put some pretty personal details on here. So, if you read my blog, please make a comment here, email me or send me a message on facebook and let me know that you view this site. I will then send you the password and let you know the date it will no longer be public. Don't worry, you won't have to sign in every time, just the first time. After that it will automatically let you view my blog....you just have to log in and put in the password the first time, as long as you use the same computer every time. Hope that makes sense!
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My Dark Day

It happened exactly 3 years ago. I woke up crying. I never cry. I went on about my morning with my two 4 year olds at home. Made breakfast, brushed teeth, all the usual. But I couldn't stop crying. "Mommy, why are you crying?" I heard over and over. They had never seen me cry. All I could say was, "I don't know." My heart was racing, I had a sense of confusion all around me. I didn't know what was going on. I called Brandon at work, still crying. "Come home. I'm really upset and I don't know why." Considering the fact that I literally NEVER cried, he knew it was a big deal and came home right away. My mother in law came and got the kids. And I kept crying. The soonest I could get in to my psychiatrist was around 4:30pm that day. So Brandon stayed with me all day and then took me in. Now let me backtrack. I've been seeing a psychiatrist since I was 18. I've dealt with depression and anxiety since I was 18. I've been on psyc...
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