I love my Bubba

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Security

I've decided to make my blog private for security reasons. As of now ANYONE in the world can view it and that scares me since I put some pretty personal details on here. So, if you read my blog, please make a comment here, email me or send me a message on facebook and let me know that you view this site. I will then send you the password and let you know the date it will no longer be public. Don't worry, you won't have to sign in every time, just the first time. After that it will automatically let you view my blog....you just have to log in and put in the password the first time, as long as you use the same computer every time. Hope that makes sense!
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My Dark Day

It happened exactly 3 years ago. I woke up crying. I never cry. I went on about my morning with my two 4 year olds at home. Made breakfast, brushed teeth, all the usual. But I couldn't stop crying. "Mommy, why are you crying?" I heard over and over. They had never seen me cry. All I could say was, "I don't know." My heart was racing, I had a sense of confusion all around me. I didn't know what was going on. I called Brandon at work, still crying. "Come home. I'm really upset and I don't know why." Considering the fact that I literally NEVER cried, he knew it was a big deal and came home right away. My mother in law came and got the kids. And I kept crying. The soonest I could get in to my psychiatrist was around 4:30pm that day. So Brandon stayed with me all day and then took me in. Now let me backtrack. I've been seeing a psychiatrist since I was 18. I've dealt with depression and anxiety since I was 18. I've been on psyc...
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Two Years Ago (FYI - lots of reading and some questionable pictures)

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As the 2nd birthday of my sweet babies comes to a close, I can't help but think about that wonderful day when Hutch Henry and Anniston Copeland graced us with their presence. I had been back at my mom's for a few days to spend Christmas with my family. The doctor had let me leave the hospital for the holidays with strict instructions of what to do/not to do (the list of NOT to do was much longer!). We enjoyed Christmas at my mom's on Thursday, I had an OK ultrasound the next day, Friday, and then I layed low over the weekend. I went in for another ultrasound on Monday and the blood flow to Anniston's brain was decreased significantly. I knew when the technician called the radiologist right then that there was a problem. I knew it was time. But not really. I was in denial. After all I had been through (16.5 weeks of bedrest, 14 trips to the hospital, 2+weeks in the hospital, magnesium, pulmonary edema, etc.) I just couldn't believe that it was all over. I had to see ...
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